Fear of Uncertainty, Overthinking & Needing Control in ADHD

Does uncertainty leave you feeling anxious or overwhelmed?

Do you find yourself constantly thinking ahead, trying to prepare for every possibility or needing to have a plan before you can relax?

Maybe unexpected changes leave you feeling panicked, you overthink every decision, or your mind gets stuck in endless "what if…" spirals. Even when you've planned everything, you still struggle to switch off.

You might find yourself asking:

  • "Why do I overthink everything?"

  • "Why do I need to know what's going to happen?"

  • "Why do I get anxious when plans change?"

  • "Why do I feel like I need to be in control all the time?"

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.

For many adults with ADHD, uncertainty feels deeply uncomfortable. When your brain struggles to tolerate the unknown, overthinking, planning and trying to stay in control can become ways of feeling safe.

The good news is that you can learn to feel calmer, even when life feels uncertain.

What is difficulty managing uncertainty?

Difficulty managing uncertainty is when not knowing what might happen creates anxiety, overthinking and a strong urge to seek certainty or control.

Rather than helping you feel prepared, this often leaves you feeling mentally exhausted, stuck and unable to switch off.

Why does uncertainty feel so difficult with ADHD?

Several ADHD traits can make uncertainty feel especially challenging.

  • Intolerance of uncertainty – Many people with ADHD find the unknown emotionally uncomfortable. Waiting for answers or not knowing what will happen next can trigger anxiety and a strong need for certainty before taking action.

  • Overthinking and worry – ADHD brains often generate endless "what if…" scenarios in an attempt to predict or prevent problems. Although this feels like problem-solving, it usually increases anxiety instead.

  • Executive dysfunction – Making decisions, planning ahead and choosing between options can be harder with ADHD. When there isn't a clear answer, it's easy to feel stuck or second-guess yourself.

  • Emotional dysregulation – Emotions are often more intense and harder to regulate in ADHD. Unexpected changes or feeling out of control can quickly become overwhelming.

  • Negative past experiences – Years of unpredictability, criticism or previous mistakes can teach your brain that uncertainty isn't safe. As a result, it becomes understandable why you try so hard to plan ahead or stay in control.

Trying to control everything isn't a weakness, it's often your brain's way of trying to protect you from uncertainty. The problem is that the more certainty you chase, the more anxiety tends to grow.

Signs you may be struggling with uncertainty

You may recognise yourself if you:

  • Overthink future situations

  • Constantly seek reassurance

  • Feel anxious when plans change

  • Struggle to make decisions without certainty

  • Worry about making the "wrong" decision

  • Avoid taking action until you feel ready

  • Find it difficult to relax or switch off

  • Feel mentally "on" all the time

How fear of uncertainty can affect your life

Living with constant uncertainty anxiety can be exhausting.

Many adults with ADHD become stuck in cycles of worrying, planning and second-guessing themselves instead of moving forward. Over time, this can lead to stress, burnout, avoidance, reduced confidence and feeling like you're never fully able to relax.

The goal isn't to eliminate uncertainty, it's to feel able to cope with it.

How ADHD therapy can help

If uncertainty leaves you feeling anxious, overwhelmed or mentally exhausted, you don't have to keep facing it alone.

Therapy can help you break free from overthinking and build confidence in your ability to cope with the unknown.

Together we can help you:

  • Understand why uncertainty feels so difficult

  • Reduce overthinking and worry spirals

  • Build tolerance for uncertainty

  • Improve decision-making without needing complete certainty

  • Develop flexible thinking patterns

  • Feel calmer when plans change

  • Learn practical strategies to manage anxiety

  • Build confidence in your ability to cope, whatever happens

The aim isn't to have all the answers. It's to trust yourself, even when you don't.

I'm an ADHD specialist therapist

Im a UK accredited specialist therapist for ADHD. Using evidence-based therapy, practical tools and personalised strategies, I help adults reduce anxiety, build resilience and feel more confident navigating life's uncertainties.

Im a therapist for ADHD, with ADHD. I understand both professionally and personally how easy it is to become trapped in overthinking, planning and trying to stay one step ahead of uncertainty.

Real change doesn't come from gaining more control, it comes from building confidence that you can cope, even when life feels uncertain.

Book a free therapy consultation below to find out more.

Read more about me.

Want to find out more how Therapy for ADHD can help you feel calmer?

Book a free ADHD therapy consultation call to find out more.
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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) on Uncertainty Anxiety (Managing Uncertainty & Lack of Control in ADHD)

  • Many people with ADHD find uncertainty stressful because the brain struggles with planning, decision-making, and predicting outcomes. Without clarity, it can feel hard to take action.

    Therapy helps you build tolerance for uncertainty so you can feel more calm and grounded, even when things aren’t fully clear.

  • Most humans like certainty because it feels safe, comforting and secure. So its normal to want to feel certain of things in our life (ie do i have food for my next meal, how will I pay bills, do i have means of transport to work etc). However, it becomes a problem when the search for certainty and control, becomes excessive, obsessive or takes us away from living a meaningful life.


    Uncertainty can feel especially uncomfortable for the ADHD brain. because it affects planning, decision-making, and emotional regulation. When things are unclear, your mind may try to “fill in the gaps” by imagining worst-case scenarios or trying to predict every outcome.

    This can lead to anxiety, overthinking, and a constant need for reassurance or control.

    ADHD therapy helps you build tolerance for uncertainty, so you can feel more grounded and calm—even when you don’t have all the answers. Over time, you learn that you can cope without needing everything to feel certain first.

  • Overthinking is often your brain’s way of trying to create certainty and prevent mistakes or negative outcomes. In ADHD, this can become a loop of “what if” thinking, where your mind keeps analysing possibilities without reaching a resolution.

    This pattern can feel exhausting and make it harder to take action.

    In therapy, you’ll learn how to recognise overthinking patterns, interrupt mental loops and shift into more balanced, realistic thinking. This helps you feel more present, reduce anxiety, and make decisions without needing to overanalyse everything.

  • The need for control is often a way of managing anxiety, overwhelm, or uncertainty. When things feel unpredictable, trying to control outcomes can create a sense of temporary safety.

    However, this can also lead to increased stress, rigidity, and difficulty coping when things don’t go as planned (as we unfortunately cant control everything in life).

    ADHD therapy helps you understand where this need for control comes from and develop more flexible thinking, emotional regulation skills, and confidence in handling uncertainty, so you don’t feel like everything has to be figured out in advance.

  • Yes, ADHD can make decision-making feel overwhelming due to too many options, fear of making the wrong choice, and difficulty organising thoughts. This can lead to decision paralysis, avoidance, or overthinking every possibility.

    You might find yourself delaying decisions until you feel completely certain—which can keep you feeling stuck.

    In therapy, you’ll learn how to simplify decisions, reduce pressure to get it “perfect,” and trust your judgement. This helps you take action more easily and feel more confident, even when outcomes are uncertain.

  • Difficulty managing uncertainty can have huge impacts. It can lead to procrastination, avoidance, anxiety, mental exhaustion, and feeling stuck or overwhelmed. It can impact work, relationships, and overall well being.

  • Therapy for ADHD can helps you:

    • build emotional resilience

    • reduce overthinking

    • feel able to manage uncertainty

    • develop flexible thinking

    • improve decision-making skills.

    • understand where the need for control stems from

    Over time, you can feel more grounded and in control, even when life feels unpredictable.

  • Common signs of struggling with control or uncertanity may include:

    • overthinking decisions

    • needing constant reassurance

    • anxiety when plans change

    • difficulty making decisions

    • delaying action until things feel certain.

    • doubting your ability to make decisions

    • avoiding making decisions

    Therapy helps you feel more confident making decisions without needing perfect clarity.

  • I am a UK-accredited therapist, physically based in Sydney, Australia, however I work online with clients throughout the UK and internationally.

    Many of my clients are based in the UK, including London, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol, Edinburgh and surrounding areas.

  • I work with adults (18+) with ADHD, including those who are newly diagnosed, awaiting assessment, exploring a possible diagnosis, or looking for support with procrastination, overwhelm, emotional regulation, executive functioning, and ADHD self-management.

  • Although I am based in Sydney, Australia, I work online with clients throughout the UK and internationally.

    Many of my clients are based in the UK, including London, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol, Edinburgh and surrounding areas.

  • All sessions are delivered online. This allows me to provide ADHD therapy and ADHD coaching to adults across the UK and internationally, while offering the flexibility and convenience of attending sessions from home.

  • Yes. I am a UK accredited therapist so many of my clients are based in the UK, however I also provide online ADHD therapy and ADHD coaching to adults internationally.

  • No. Some clients come to therapy after receiving an ADHD diagnosis, while others seek support because they identify with ADHD-related difficulties and are considering assessment. A formal diagnosis is not required to begin exploring strategies that can help you manage better day-to-day

  • Yes. I provide online ADHD therapy for adults throughout the UK, including London, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol, Leeds, Edinburgh, Glasgow and surrounding areas. Online sessions allow you to access specialist ADHD support regardless of where you live.